Honoring

Honoring

The body stops

Hurts aches

Wants to fall apart

Slipping into the lavender water

Warm enveloping comfort

Getting to the secret places

Of loving and grit

Here in the quiet

Letting the body float

Baptized by lavender

I hold me

I hug my arms

I explore every toe

Watch my long hair

Float as seaweed

In the currents of my body

I kiss my breasts

Run my hand down my strong legs

Caress my cancer scared belly

Pushing warm water waves

Over this roundness of life

In holding to let go

Wailing for all I hold in my soul

Salt tears mingle with glitter lit water

For the sorrow and hope

That is now a turbulent pool

In my soul

Here I find honor

Here I find honor for my story

For the fears of death

I face with all the courage I had

For the anxiety of working this alone

Here I find honor for things lost

Friendships that are no more

A way of life that died

So I could find a new way and an old way

Back to loving me

Here I find honor for those who helped

In small and big ways

For the hands held, shoulders cried on

For seeing the rebirth in the kindest words

For just being there

Here I find honor for myself

Honoring the entire experience

For learning more to love

For the courage to face my fears

For the gratitude of being alive

For being able to hold all these things

Sorrow, anger, gratitude, hope, love, joy, fear

Here I find honor for myself

For being able to hold all these things