What am I thankful for today

I have been trying to practice gratitude over the last week or so. Some days are great and some days are like today. I can list what I am grateful for - but I am not feeling the gratitude - until this afternoon, so here goes

I am thankful I have a job where I can be quiet and let sometimes troubling things just be
I am thankful for the November roses still blooming in the rose garden at work
I am thankful for the oak tree I walk around
I am thankful for the autumn leaves on the ground that I can playfully shuffle through
I am thankful I am going to talk to my therapist tonight - to help with all this Thanksgiving stuff
I am thankful for my breath - as I draw it in and let it go

These little gratitudes have helped me through this day.....

I did the ice cream thing.....

Saturday night - after the red tent temple on the way home I was thinking about Priscilla and I wanted something creamy. I didn't have any yogurt in the house so I got some Ben and Jerry's everything but the ice cream. I thought ( ha) that I could just have 1/2 the pint - but it was so hard to scoop out that I just did the whole thing - and it tasted good. Well, there we go, that is that.....

Sunday I didn't feel great, so I went back to be, proceeded to get a migraine - I haven't had one of those in a couple of years and lounge my way through the rest of the day.

Today is kind of blah - I really wanted to crawl under a rock this morning. I am thinking about Thanksgiving - and having a little panic because I am not going home. My parents have gone through some big changes this year but I want to be in NYC part of the weekend to visit Priscilla in the hospital and maybe get a burger with her husband George. I really feel kind of torn about this holiday. I struggle with hanging out this new people and I struggle with hanging out with my family. Honestly I have been feeling a little lonely.


I am not so worried about Thanksgiving day and over eating - it is a day to enjoy good food and good people and I intend on doing both without reservation. I am researching recipes for a pear cobbler without gluten, eggs or dairy - well I might use butter. I am going to use almond flour and maybe add apples or apricot jam to my creation. I am also bringing a pumpkin pie for dessert.

Body Love

The night turned chilled

From the first of the winter rains

Inside the dark room

Red, pink and purple Christmas lights

Magic color glowed

I naked on the bed

Dreaming of body love

Filling every cell with luminous

Pink glitter light

Saying

I am sorry

For all the harm

I unthinkingly subjected you to

In the sorrow

I opened all of me

To tingling light awareness

Caressing me

Inside and out

Lusciously loving all my wiggly curves

My heart was awake

Both sorrow and joy

Wanting to burst this container

To let love fly in the night

Bouquet of Autumn Leaves

Pick a bouquet of autumn leaves

Heavy paint patterns

Zebra stripe yellow and deep red

Revealed under the green

Collect the yellow maple leaves

That show off against the twilight

Long shadowed sun

Dipping deep in the west

Seeking winter rest

Here the pinch of regret

Of colors having to pass away

A of the delicate fair pink roses

Whose petals now dance on the

Twilight autumn wind

That I too could fly away

To some wind swept rest

Wrapped in rose petals and painted leaves