Speed Bumps

I don’t know about you
But I don’t go gently and slow
Over the Speed Bumps of life
No
I actually don’t see mind coming
This time it was by denial
How in the world I didn’t think
This wouldn’t come back to bite me
After falling off the wagon
Baffles me
But there you have it
I figuratively slammed into my speed bump
And
Tumbling along
Were bundles of issues
Related and deep
Tangled up
In memories, episodes, experiences
And yet I knew it was out there
Maybe I even created it
Working on questions
Breaking old patterns
Forging a new path
Where the old patterns don’t work
Others try to reassure me
This wasn’t a speed bump
Rather a root a tripped on
By reminding me of many good things
Courage
Questions
Getting into the murky muck
And I tried to listen
My head knew they were right
But my heart
Felt wounded
By its own betrayal
I lost faith in myself
It was hard to believe in me
So I love this heart
And my questions
And I forgive me
Finding faith and magic again
So that in time I learn from
My own betrayal
To be honest with myself
To unpack and reveal the hidden pattern
To Love my heart and all of me
So that
The next speed bump I come to
I might roll over it more easily