Speed Bumps

I don’t know about you
But I don’t go gently and slow
Over the Speed Bumps of life
No
I actually don’t see mind coming
This time it was by denial
How in the world I didn’t think
This wouldn’t come back to bite me
After falling off the wagon
Baffles me
But there you have it
I figuratively slammed into my speed bump
And
Tumbling along
Were bundles of issues
Related and deep
Tangled up
In memories, episodes, experiences
And yet I knew it was out there
Maybe I even created it
Working on questions
Breaking old patterns
Forging a new path
Where the old patterns don’t work
Others try to reassure me
This wasn’t a speed bump
Rather a root a tripped on
By reminding me of many good things
Courage
Questions
Getting into the murky muck
And I tried to listen
My head knew they were right
But my heart
Felt wounded
By its own betrayal
I lost faith in myself
It was hard to believe in me
So I love this heart
And my questions
And I forgive me
Finding faith and magic again
So that in time I learn from
My own betrayal
To be honest with myself
To unpack and reveal the hidden pattern
To Love my heart and all of me
So that
The next speed bump I come to
I might roll over it more easily

Dismantling

Listen to what you say to yourself
Especially the can’ts
The blinders we have put in front of ourselves
The fairytales we create to hide from the truth
The tiny roomed prisons we build for ourselves
The world around us hands us the mortar
Dances images before us to bedazzle
To the point of blindness
The rules we grew up and used
Because we didn’t know any better
Through time we get beaten down
Not bothering to try anymore
Because we are not valued
By the world we live in
But beneath all of this
Are the bones of our freedom
The small voice
The nagging thought
That told us something was very wrong
There was something more
Then the shell that fear created
Again there are freedom’s bones
The questions that dig deep
The light that cuts away the excess
The knowing that lets truth
Shutter YES inside you
The patterns
Once seen for what they are
And now no longer work
Taking on the fear
Stepping beyond it
To
I CAN

Morning Thunderstorm

The morning thunderstorm
Rumbling buzz of raindrops
Caught me in my dreams
Where I journeyed
Naked
Laid down
Among the dewed tall grass
With a belly of tears
That trembles next to the earth
Of all that is slighted women
Separated from her strength and wisdom
A thousand cuts of fear
Cry them out to the rain
Thunder to shake the bones
Let the heavy dewed earth
Hold my sorrow
Wet
Let the rain
Wash me
Wet my skin
Dripping it fresh
And cool with beauty’s love
Slick and moist
Sparkling lips glistening caressed
Love bud blessed
Soles softened
Wake to the rain magic
Claiming Goddess hope
Stepping into Beauty’s rain kissed power