Running away from Christmas

I want to run away from Christmas
I think a lot of people do
I don’t want to write about Christmases past
I thought I did
Like Dylan Thomas’ “A Child’s Christmas in Wales”
To tell of happy memories from the past
But I can’t
Too much stuff goes into it
I can’t pull myself back far enough
Detach myself to see it’s blessings and glories
For the hurt I feel now
It is a major accomplishment if I can get through “the holidays”
Without a major emotional meltdown
It takes a lot of effort on my part
To limit what I do and how I feel
Christmas has not ever been especially joyous for me
They have always been very complicated and full of disappointment
Our consumer culture has sold us all a bunch of lies
The happiness can be bought –
There are most precious gifts that can be given that are not bought
But rather given to help others – out of kindness and generosity
Giving from the heart
It’s that what all the movies tell us?
Now, don’t get me wrong
I believe in this season of quiet waiting
This season of giving from the heart
I believe in being with loved ones, sharing time and good cheer
Helping other who may have less than me
To spend more in quiet of this season
I just think we spend too much time and energy
On the wrong things in this season
Instead of spending money we should open our hearts
There should be only 1 week of shopping for Christmas
If we have to have it at all
I would almost rather that Christmas and New Year’s
Were treated as any other ordinary day in the year
Yes, I still want to watch my favorite holiday movies
But I think I am going to flesh out my DVD holiday collection
So I can watch them when I want
And not have to watch all that shameless propaganda what we should buy
I think I will spend more time in quiet enjoying the dark of winter
I will not listen to all the news – I get enough to know what is going on in the world
I will spend time with friends – and find ways to give to those who are in need
I will do some traditional family baking
I will spread good cheer
At Yule time
And leave that Christian holiday to the Christians

ordinary pine trees

Ordinary snow spine pine trees
Bristle in winter’s ordinary frigid cold
Hearty against gray sky’s snow veil
Not photogenicly dripped pillowed white splashed
With winter sun’s pale light as in after the storm