A birthday poem

Giving birth to me


I have been up for hours
In the dark of night
In candle light
Christmas light glowing at dawn
Rubbing my belly
It feels like
I have all of a sudden
Let go of 40 years of fear
An my belly hurts
Bursting free
My fingers have pierced the membrane
Of memories holding me back
And the flood of hurt
Flows out of my cells
My nerves
Raw in newness
On fire with love
For around are many other women
Beloved Friends
Holding my hand
Whispering in my ear
Hugging me
Holding me up
Calling beloved me back to me
As I rub my belly
Worshipping all it has held
All it is letting go
Wrapping myself in soft burgundy red velvet
A red coin scarf swaths my belly
It is more precious than gold
Warm love tears mingled joy and sorrow
Wash over me
Carrying healing
Bathing me in hope
I feel a tired begin to creep in around me
I want to sleep
With smiles and bubbles
Dream silly dreams of laughter
Wrapped warm
In a deep awe of love
This is how I give birth to myself