Alone’s soul sinking ache

Alone’s soul sinking ache
Is more than having Beloved as company
It is this reality of being alone
For now all things are in Alone’s hands
The burden of caring for the present
And worrying of Alone’s future alone
Leaves an almost unbearable ache

There are times when Alone’s heart dreams
Only to wake to a reality of unfulfilled wishes
Alone has no shoulder to cry on
No warm body to curl up next to at night
No toothbrush dripping in the bathroom
Or fishing dirty socks out from under the bed

Alone now struggles
With a dream unfulfilled
Giving gifts limited by opportunity
Of an uncertain future alone
Questions ring in the ears
What will happen to me?
Who will love me?
Who cares?

Don’t accuse Alone of being depressed
Or of not having friends
Or of not caring in return
Being alone with no Beloved
Alone stares starkly at the limits of life

Maybe Alone is deluded
Thinking that Beloved
will be supportive, financially solid, caring
Will know every nook and cranny, joy and sorrow
That with Beloved
Alone’s wings will strengthen spread further
Allow Alone to go places as yet are unexplored
Go to place Alone can’t go
Places where two spirits that come together go

Still, tears burn watering Alone’s soul
In occasional despair of time both gone and unused
Centered firmly in the now
Against Alone’s fears pushes hope