Two poems

Images flicker and fade
Not enough awe or simplicity
To tempt me
To wonder about it in words
That feel like stones
In my mouth
Or muddy ash
It is all I can do to spit them out
Without giving them voice
And the images
Breeze gently away into
Oblivion ‘s mundane memory


After the battle
Mundane patterns
Ordinary routines
Return
Hiding more subtle struggles
And wondering
Where life goes
Dull
Battle sharpens the senses
Strips away the unnecessary
Now to sharpen ordinary life
With passion and hope
Ah! This in between is preparation

Grace and Gratitude

Where does one begin
At a breaking point
Falling apart
Life thrown a curve ball
A vessel dashed to pieces
Revealing a deep vulnerable core of humanity
That wrestles with the deepest questions
In chaos and creation
And by Hope or Faith
Or Grace
Is let go
Life energy spilling out
Into creation
Elements and gritty ground
Between Earth and the Universe
Filling soul with new light
Brilliant with impatience to live
Subtle and welcoming as a warm breeze
Or Spring rain on your face
All this that a heart might burst
In simplest gratitude
Awestruck beauty
A heart’s humble honor
Whose hard urgency
Hurls one along new paths
Opening the way to love spirit’s
Own thankful heart

Cherry Blossom Breezes

The wind
Sent all the cherry blossom petals
Fluttering
On swirling breezes
Showers of white and pink laughter
Dance of springtime
Falling as the wind moves away
Creating petal pink snow
On the green spring grass
With that shock
Spring comes and goes

Tears

Tears
Some scorn them
Or don’t understand them
They seem as a sign of weakness
Or that one might not be as strong as they could be
To be suppressed or controlled
Or they are used for manipulation
In that use it is dishonest
Tears to be trusted should be honest tears
We were given tears for physical expression
To express pain and hurt
Even deep happiness and joy
Tears let the heart speak
Tears also help move the emotions as energy
To pour them out of the body
Cleansing the body
Helping the healing process
Tears are strength
Tears are honesty
Tears help gather strength
Tears allow for falling apart
To let go and show vulnerability
The break open the deepest part of you
Tears make room for new things
Tears tire the body so it can rest
Tears can empty the spirit and allow it peace

Drawing out the silences of my life

Drawing out the silences of my life
Giving voice to things I am too scared to say
Bring them into the light
Giving them words and feeling
That are now just raw glimmers
Ideas on the ether barely having shape or substance
To do this I have to begin with what I have
What my heart really wants to talk about
Then the silence will begin to come forward
So what do I trust my heart with today
What small fear can I name
The fear of not saying want needs to be said
The fear of hurting others
The fear of another person out of respect
Something that lays heavy on my heart
And yet is very hard to speak
But call me to a deeper dedication
To try
To communicate honestly with people
To trust them with my hurts
Even when they have hurt me
Drawing out the silences
Is trying to find truth and forgiveness
Trying to say the hard truths that are so hard to say

New Year's Toast

" THE FUTURE BELONGS TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN THE BEAUTY OF THIER DREAMS".=========ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

" ALWAYS BEAR IN MIND THAT YOUR OWN RESOLUTION TO SUCCEED IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANY ONE THING."-------------ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Happy New Year Everyone!

Magical Nights

Let the darkness come
As twilight fades
The stars begin to dapple the sky
Now fire to glow
Mysteries meet
Spirits open to the Universe
It flows free
Those who know it
Open their hearts
Revel and ride with it
Dancing life’s light energy
Journeying to the inside of a candle flame
Knowing love deep in the heart
That is of all things loving wonder

forgiving

Forgiving is found in loving
Not some innocent naïve love
Rather the caring of hurt
To see a heart and love it
Especially when trampled and torn
It is your own heart you must love
In order to forgive
In loving your own heart and it’s hurt
You can then see into other’s heart
And in seeing your hurt in their hearts
The limitations of life and loving
Then you continue loving

Good bye 2009

Here I am - on New Year's Eve - for once - alone - and I welcome it. I am surrounded by candle and xmas lights, music that fills my heart full of hope, and my eyes shine with my own happiness. I have banana bread baking in the oven, took a nap with my beloved Soma, and have movies queued up for the evening.

As twilight falls and the witching hours draws closer I will take on of my shower/baths and wash away 2009. I will have a new skin to grow into for 2010. As a wash away 2009 there are things that will stay with me, the new friends I have, the strength, courage and wisdom I have found and most especially the love that I share with others.

I feel happy tonight. I feel strong. I feel hopeful for the future. I am positive. Tonight I am not going mourn what has been lost - as most of you know I have done enough of that already. Tonight I choose to being in light of Love, hope and courage.

So, I give myself and everyone else a Very Happy New Year with all the Love and Hope that come from the future.

Gummy Bears

Personally I prefer the red ones
But then there are these very pale yellow ones
Like the color of champagne
Or pear flavored life savers
That I liked too
I would get them at the college sweet shop
Just before going to the Science Fiction Group
Where I was introduced to world opening experiences of
Buckaroo Bonsai
Japanese Anime
Dr. Who
Red Dwarf
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Where our code phrase was
“Give me the Locknar, you bitch”
It was there
I blame Danny
With his innocuous brown paper bag
Filled with Gummy Bears
And I would surreptitiously dip my hand in that bag
Pulling out these cute sweet delights
Savoring their squishy – jell-o like forms
Between tongue and teeth
That was infinitely more interesting than popcorn
Becoming for all of us that mindless movie snack
One sweet spot in my otherwise ambivalent college existence