Let the darkness come
As twilight fades
The stars begin to dapple the sky
Now fire to glow
Mysteries meet
Spirits open to the Universe
It flows free
Those who know it
Open their hearts
Revel and ride with it
Dancing life’s light energy
Journeying to the inside of a candle flame
Knowing love deep in the heart
That is of all things loving wonder
Thursday, December 31, 2009
forgiving
Forgiving is found in loving
Not some innocent naïve love
Rather the caring of hurt
To see a heart and love it
Especially when trampled and torn
It is your own heart you must love
In order to forgive
In loving your own heart and it’s hurt
You can then see into other’s heart
And in seeing your hurt in their hearts
The limitations of life and loving
Then you continue loving
Not some innocent naïve love
Rather the caring of hurt
To see a heart and love it
Especially when trampled and torn
It is your own heart you must love
In order to forgive
In loving your own heart and it’s hurt
You can then see into other’s heart
And in seeing your hurt in their hearts
The limitations of life and loving
Then you continue loving
Good bye 2009
Here I am - on New Year's Eve - for once - alone - and I welcome it. I am surrounded by candle and xmas lights, music that fills my heart full of hope, and my eyes shine with my own happiness. I have banana bread baking in the oven, took a nap with my beloved Soma, and have movies queued up for the evening.
As twilight falls and the witching hours draws closer I will take on of my shower/baths and wash away 2009. I will have a new skin to grow into for 2010. As a wash away 2009 there are things that will stay with me, the new friends I have, the strength, courage and wisdom I have found and most especially the love that I share with others.
I feel happy tonight. I feel strong. I feel hopeful for the future. I am positive. Tonight I am not going mourn what has been lost - as most of you know I have done enough of that already. Tonight I choose to being in light of Love, hope and courage.
So, I give myself and everyone else a Very Happy New Year with all the Love and Hope that come from the future.
As twilight falls and the witching hours draws closer I will take on of my shower/baths and wash away 2009. I will have a new skin to grow into for 2010. As a wash away 2009 there are things that will stay with me, the new friends I have, the strength, courage and wisdom I have found and most especially the love that I share with others.
I feel happy tonight. I feel strong. I feel hopeful for the future. I am positive. Tonight I am not going mourn what has been lost - as most of you know I have done enough of that already. Tonight I choose to being in light of Love, hope and courage.
So, I give myself and everyone else a Very Happy New Year with all the Love and Hope that come from the future.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Gummy Bears
Personally I prefer the red ones
But then there are these very pale yellow ones
Like the color of champagne
Or pear flavored life savers
That I liked too
I would get them at the college sweet shop
Just before going to the Science Fiction Group
Where I was introduced to world opening experiences of
Buckaroo Bonsai
Japanese Anime
Dr. Who
Red Dwarf
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Where our code phrase was
“Give me the Locknar, you bitch”
It was there
I blame Danny
With his innocuous brown paper bag
Filled with Gummy Bears
And I would surreptitiously dip my hand in that bag
Pulling out these cute sweet delights
Savoring their squishy – jell-o like forms
Between tongue and teeth
That was infinitely more interesting than popcorn
Becoming for all of us that mindless movie snack
One sweet spot in my otherwise ambivalent college existence
But then there are these very pale yellow ones
Like the color of champagne
Or pear flavored life savers
That I liked too
I would get them at the college sweet shop
Just before going to the Science Fiction Group
Where I was introduced to world opening experiences of
Buckaroo Bonsai
Japanese Anime
Dr. Who
Red Dwarf
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Where our code phrase was
“Give me the Locknar, you bitch”
It was there
I blame Danny
With his innocuous brown paper bag
Filled with Gummy Bears
And I would surreptitiously dip my hand in that bag
Pulling out these cute sweet delights
Savoring their squishy – jell-o like forms
Between tongue and teeth
That was infinitely more interesting than popcorn
Becoming for all of us that mindless movie snack
One sweet spot in my otherwise ambivalent college existence
Sunday, November 29, 2009
celebrating winter
It takes Thanksgiving being over for me to think the harvest is over and winter is here.
This weekend I opened my soul to winter. I welcomed in the bare beauty of the earth, especially the trees. They are beautiful with no leaves - their elegant structure and design. I welcome in the long nights and dark silence. I love that the sun is low in the sky and everything has long shadows. I love especially the evening twilight - that to me is a magical time to watch the day turn to night.
The lights and music of Yule help brighten the beauty of winter - and the challenge is keeping the beauty going in the middle of January - but we will deal with that when it gets here.
This weekend I opened my soul to winter. I welcomed in the bare beauty of the earth, especially the trees. They are beautiful with no leaves - their elegant structure and design. I welcome in the long nights and dark silence. I love that the sun is low in the sky and everything has long shadows. I love especially the evening twilight - that to me is a magical time to watch the day turn to night.
The lights and music of Yule help brighten the beauty of winter - and the challenge is keeping the beauty going in the middle of January - but we will deal with that when it gets here.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Samhain 2009
Since this is my witch's new year - it is a turning of the year - at time to honor the dead and ancestors - the beginning of winter and getting ready to hibernate and deal with the darkness - I have something I want to share.
My old angers are gone. With the possibility of cancer, my outlook on life has shifted significantly. I was incredibly angry and frustrated - mostly at myself - but that spilled over to others. I was angry and frustrated that I would let people down, that I would fail people, I was angry at myself for not achieving my goals and just taking situations and people far too serious - especially myself. I wanted to pull it where others weren't willing or ready to go. I was also afraid that others didn't love me - and honestly I didn't love myself. I hope others can forgive me my anger, my frustrations and my silly notions.
Having now to fight a tumor - I quickly realized that I am loved - by many and that I love myself as well. I had to - If I am going to beat this tumor I have to love and take care of myself - that anger - long burning anger - just wasn't worth it. I gave up those silly notions - I gave up on the idea that I have to be great leader/be in control/I have to pull everyone along/get them to do what they are suppose to do. That is my just being plain too serious and stress out. In refocus on the important things in life these angers and frustrations just didn't seem worth it anymore - they weren't as important as loving and forgiving myself and loving and forgiving other. I had to deeply love myself and forgive myself and I hope other will be able to forgive me my anger and frustration.
So in this new year I really want to focus on love - love of myself and love of others and sharing that love and making that love happy and fun and joyful. That is my Samhain wish for 2009. I have rediscovered love, deep love, for myself, other and life and I will work to make this the most important thing this year and through out the rest of my life. I rededicate myself to Love of Life with all of who I am.
My old angers are gone. With the possibility of cancer, my outlook on life has shifted significantly. I was incredibly angry and frustrated - mostly at myself - but that spilled over to others. I was angry and frustrated that I would let people down, that I would fail people, I was angry at myself for not achieving my goals and just taking situations and people far too serious - especially myself. I wanted to pull it where others weren't willing or ready to go. I was also afraid that others didn't love me - and honestly I didn't love myself. I hope others can forgive me my anger, my frustrations and my silly notions.
Having now to fight a tumor - I quickly realized that I am loved - by many and that I love myself as well. I had to - If I am going to beat this tumor I have to love and take care of myself - that anger - long burning anger - just wasn't worth it. I gave up those silly notions - I gave up on the idea that I have to be great leader/be in control/I have to pull everyone along/get them to do what they are suppose to do. That is my just being plain too serious and stress out. In refocus on the important things in life these angers and frustrations just didn't seem worth it anymore - they weren't as important as loving and forgiving myself and loving and forgiving other. I had to deeply love myself and forgive myself and I hope other will be able to forgive me my anger and frustration.
So in this new year I really want to focus on love - love of myself and love of others and sharing that love and making that love happy and fun and joyful. That is my Samhain wish for 2009. I have rediscovered love, deep love, for myself, other and life and I will work to make this the most important thing this year and through out the rest of my life. I rededicate myself to Love of Life with all of who I am.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Dumplings and Laundry
The night streamed past us
In car headlights headed to Bloomfield Ave.
We walked along the bumpy sidewalks
With our wire carts before us
Filled with dirty clothes- detergent – fabric softener
Hand bags clutched to the handles
Filled with coveted quarters for doing laundry
We bumped and tripped our way toward the Laundromat
And the Chinese takeout next door
We would load our clothes into the washing machines
The head to the Chinese place
To find a table and place an order of fried dumplings
Dumprings – as they would say
And a deck of cards would come out
Gin Rummy was the preferred game
As our clothes tumbled and spun
First to get wet and washed – then to dry
As we played our evening of cards
And snacked on fried dumplings
Treats in a time of little spare money
Basking momentarily in a friendship now long in years
In car headlights headed to Bloomfield Ave.
We walked along the bumpy sidewalks
With our wire carts before us
Filled with dirty clothes- detergent – fabric softener
Hand bags clutched to the handles
Filled with coveted quarters for doing laundry
We bumped and tripped our way toward the Laundromat
And the Chinese takeout next door
We would load our clothes into the washing machines
The head to the Chinese place
To find a table and place an order of fried dumplings
Dumprings – as they would say
And a deck of cards would come out
Gin Rummy was the preferred game
As our clothes tumbled and spun
First to get wet and washed – then to dry
As we played our evening of cards
And snacked on fried dumplings
Treats in a time of little spare money
Basking momentarily in a friendship now long in years
Friday, September 4, 2009
Morning Glories
Morning Glories
Are summer morning gladness
Bouncing on a sunny breeze
Magenta striped blue purple
Delicate pale pink
Traditional blue
Blossoms that seem to bob along
Fences and walls
Small shouts of gay laughter
In the city’s noisy
Seemingly barren concrete and steel jungle
In seeing them
I too turn my face to the sun
And let breeze wash my face
Knowing I am glad
Are summer morning gladness
Bouncing on a sunny breeze
Magenta striped blue purple
Delicate pale pink
Traditional blue
Blossoms that seem to bob along
Fences and walls
Small shouts of gay laughter
In the city’s noisy
Seemingly barren concrete and steel jungle
In seeing them
I too turn my face to the sun
And let breeze wash my face
Knowing I am glad
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Coming Autumn
A maudlin mood came over me
So let me blame the sun
Casting mornings waning summer light
Across a dust black street and rough sandy concrete sidewalks
She is rising later and later these days
And so she caught me to tell me so
It was that she lit the side walk at all
That caught my eye
Usually during summer
When I pass across this pavement and sidewalk
They aren’t splashed in sunshine
Usually the Sun is already up in the sky
Where taller buildings and el subway platforms block her light
So her light this morning
Stirred something in me
Of ripening and reaping
Of long nights and letting go
Coming autumn
So let me blame the sun
Casting mornings waning summer light
Across a dust black street and rough sandy concrete sidewalks
She is rising later and later these days
And so she caught me to tell me so
It was that she lit the side walk at all
That caught my eye
Usually during summer
When I pass across this pavement and sidewalk
They aren’t splashed in sunshine
Usually the Sun is already up in the sky
Where taller buildings and el subway platforms block her light
So her light this morning
Stirred something in me
Of ripening and reaping
Of long nights and letting go
Coming autumn
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Gangster Solitaire
The four of hearts seemed so vulnerable
Only the three of clubs kept her company
She was surrounded by Black Kings
Black and Red retinue trailing behind them
She had no where to move
No black five would give her refuge
She didn't want to become just another in the line
The other cards
Shifted and move to get the best position
The Queen of Clubs had her Jack
And was prepared to be flattered by his company
But only until the King of Hearts came along
To sweep her off her feet
The Aces don't do nothin
They are four Divas just waiting
Just waiting
Hanging around for all the other action to end
The tension tightens
As cards in threes file past the seven spaces
To see if they will be seated at a table
If they will be allowed to join one of the royal retinues
Everyone is eager to fit
But in good order
Black Red Black Red or
Red Black Red Black
The four of Hearts and her lonely three of clubs
Watch the cards flip by
Almost mocking all who are on the board
The all stare back with a nonchalant hardness
Which comes with a lot of boredom and waiting
Finally out of desperation
The player chooses another game
So the four of hearts was never rescued
Only to show up in another game
Searching for her black five.
Only the three of clubs kept her company
She was surrounded by Black Kings
Black and Red retinue trailing behind them
She had no where to move
No black five would give her refuge
She didn't want to become just another in the line
The other cards
Shifted and move to get the best position
The Queen of Clubs had her Jack
And was prepared to be flattered by his company
But only until the King of Hearts came along
To sweep her off her feet
The Aces don't do nothin
They are four Divas just waiting
Just waiting
Hanging around for all the other action to end
The tension tightens
As cards in threes file past the seven spaces
To see if they will be seated at a table
If they will be allowed to join one of the royal retinues
Everyone is eager to fit
But in good order
Black Red Black Red or
Red Black Red Black
The four of Hearts and her lonely three of clubs
Watch the cards flip by
Almost mocking all who are on the board
The all stare back with a nonchalant hardness
Which comes with a lot of boredom and waiting
Finally out of desperation
The player chooses another game
So the four of hearts was never rescued
Only to show up in another game
Searching for her black five.
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