Samhain 2009

Since this is my witch's new year - it is a turning of the year - at time to honor the dead and ancestors - the beginning of winter and getting ready to hibernate and deal with the darkness - I have something I want to share.

My old angers are gone. With the possibility of cancer, my outlook on life has shifted significantly. I was incredibly angry and frustrated - mostly at myself - but that spilled over to others. I was angry and frustrated that I would let people down, that I would fail people, I was angry at myself for not achieving my goals and just taking situations and people far too serious - especially myself. I wanted to pull it where others weren't willing or ready to go. I was also afraid that others didn't love me - and honestly I didn't love myself. I hope others can forgive me my anger, my frustrations and my silly notions.

Having now to fight a tumor - I quickly realized that I am loved - by many and that I love myself as well. I had to - If I am going to beat this tumor I have to love and take care of myself - that anger - long burning anger - just wasn't worth it. I gave up those silly notions - I gave up on the idea that I have to be great leader/be in control/I have to pull everyone along/get them to do what they are suppose to do. That is my just being plain too serious and stress out. In refocus on the important things in life these angers and frustrations just didn't seem worth it anymore - they weren't as important as loving and forgiving myself and loving and forgiving other. I had to deeply love myself and forgive myself and I hope other will be able to forgive me my anger and frustration.

So in this new year I really want to focus on love - love of myself and love of others and sharing that love and making that love happy and fun and joyful. That is my Samhain wish for 2009. I have rediscovered love, deep love, for myself, other and life and I will work to make this the most important thing this year and through out the rest of my life. I rededicate myself to Love of Life with all of who I am.

Dumplings and Laundry

The night streamed past us
In car headlights headed to Bloomfield Ave.
We walked along the bumpy sidewalks
With our wire carts before us
Filled with dirty clothes- detergent – fabric softener
Hand bags clutched to the handles
Filled with coveted quarters for doing laundry
We bumped and tripped our way toward the Laundromat
And the Chinese takeout next door
We would load our clothes into the washing machines
The head to the Chinese place
To find a table and place an order of fried dumplings
Dumprings – as they would say
And a deck of cards would come out
Gin Rummy was the preferred game
As our clothes tumbled and spun
First to get wet and washed – then to dry
As we played our evening of cards
And snacked on fried dumplings
Treats in a time of little spare money
Basking momentarily in a friendship now long in years